TRIGGERS
Triggers have become my teachers. Each trigger I experience, if I’m willing, will teach me something valuable about myself. More importantly, when I’m willing to embrace pain that shows up from my triggers, this pain becomes the gateway in transforming my repressed emotions, making room for Joy as a little more trauma leaves.
Triggers occur when our Past (repressed emotions) intersect with our Present (situations). Meaning, when a present situation TRIGGERS repressed emotions that were created from past trauma. Whether this past trauma is created from Childhood, or from being in a War, I believe the process to healing is the same…
For example: Last week I went on a first date with a new man. I haven’t felt a real connection with a man in quite sometime and after this date, I did. He must have felt it too as he asked me to go out the following weekend and I said, “sounds good!” Our plan was to go to dinner Saturday night then find a place to listen to music. I was excited for this date as I haven’t been out in years due to Covid and self healing. The little girl in me was looking forward to being taken out and shown a fun time! The adult in me was excited too. I spent much of Saturday doing self care in preparation for this date…. Saturday afternoon, 4pm rolls around and I receive a text from this man canceling our date with what I considered to be not that great of an excuse. I felt “TRIGGERED”.. I felt it in my body; my heart jumped, my stomach churned, my throat got tight and I wanted to scream! This is not a normal/healthy response to a minor disappointment. The silver lining in this scenario was: I understood what was happening with me and what was going on inside of my body. I knew the reaction I was having was a result from my past, and not from the man canceling our date. I knew after all the emotional work I’ve done thus far, it was important for me to “FEEL” this pain that was showing up while acknowledging this grief was from my childhood and from all the men that have disappointed me, starting with my Narcissistic father.
Because most men in my life have let me down, disappointed me in one way or another, this has created much repressed emotion in my body. So…. now when a man I barely know cancels a date that I’m looking forward to, it makes sense why this type of an event will TRIGGER pain from my past. This is a classic example of when:
“The Past becomes The Present”
Dealing with triggers productively has taken me time. Now that I understand what is happening when pain in my body emerges, I finally see the “TRUTH”
I’ve learned when triggered to pause & not react as this makes room for clarity… As I began to understand my repressed emotions were the cause of my pain, and not the person who instigated the Trigger,
This huge “TRUTH” became the beginning of FREEDOM for me.
Dealing with my emotional triggers has been the key in setting me free, the key in me getting off decades of antidepressants, the key in discovering the real me. I’ve learned with each trigger I experience to pause, not react & feel my pain… I am then transformed a little more with each painful event as I grow closer to who I am.